Christmas is constantly bombarded with uplifting seasonal tracks from the hottest and trendiest pop stars, but the ever-evolving Scott Sandwich produced a series of tracks addressing solitude and loneliness throughout the holiday season. With joy. Scott Sandwich’s unexpected appearance at South Hetherington Primary School’s event “Carols in the Amphitheatre” was a landmark moment. This iteration of Sallow performed live in front of an eager audience, presenting the track “Ho Ho Ho (It’s Your Mum)”, with a full choir, orchestra, and rhythm section. The track was executed perfectly, with the mysterious singer transforming, chameleon-like, into character for the song. This was done so expertly that the tears and frustrations of the 400 children at the concert seemed palpably real. When the school's assistant principal arrived dressed as Santa Claus, he was promptly doused in petrol and burned to death from a hurled candle wedged in a styrofoam cup. This is not to take away from the flawless performance by Sandwich - on the contrary, it speaks to the power of Sallow’s live performance that it resulted in such a tangible emotional reaction from such a young audience. With a few simple words (albeit with a 52 piece choir in perfect harmony) repeated for 4 minutes, “Ho Ho Ho (It’s Your Mum)" will be remembered as one of the most memorable and ephemeral performances in the history of human kind. 'The Fourth Wise Man' is considered by many to be the greatest unofficial carol of all time. [citation needed] Regardless of this claim, the only original copies of this track will be found in old cassingle collections - which are numerous and easy to come across. No self-respecting music collector would let a gem like this go to waste. As authentic audiophiles, it pains us to digitise the recording here - especially since most music audiences will be well aware of this song from their local community church singalong gatherings (both in and out of season, obviously). However, leaving this song out of any music collection would be considered a crime to historians, ethnomusicologists and theologians alike. 'Leave A Glass Of Whiskey For Santa (Leave The Bottle Out For Me)' still sounds as fresh today as it did during the 1942 holiday season. The contemporary dissonant harmonies stink of group alcohol consumption, but this only exacerbates the charm of the work. 'Lost In December' is a remarkable track, and is possibly the most successful since the epic power ballad 'How My Crank Ruined Christmas', or perhaps the choral klezmer jam 'Festival Of Lights? More Like 8 Days That I'm Lonely And Pray For Death'. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.