This CD came about because the great LukeSki (better know on Dr Demento check out his website at http://www.thegreatlukeski.com)who I met one day on the Capitol Square here in Madison,Wisconsin after my song Have A Peanut Butter Sandwich was getting played on Dr Demento decided that I needed a CD that DJs could play without having to dig through all my CDs to find the best songs. The great LukeSki not only suggested the idea but he compiled the CD and gave it to me without charging me any money or demanding any publicity. I like the idea and like the CD so much that I thought it would make a good CD not just for DJs but for fans to.So here it is and here are the lyrics: 1. My Name is Art My Name Is Art And I'm not you And I don't always do The things you want me to You say play the Boss Or play some Queen But I'm not into that Imitation thing You know Elvis is dead And I'm alive And I don't like no Imitation jive Because a clone don't make A very good Rock Star Because you never really know Who they are Imitating everyone Everyday I'd rather play my own songs My own way Said my name is ART And I'm not you And I don't always do The things you want me to You say play the Beatles? Or play some Supremes But I'm not into that Imitation thing 2. Purple Bananas On The Moon 1.There's purple bananas on the moon I'm not quite sure but they said it was true I'd go there and find out for myself But I don't have the time or the wealth I'd read a book about it too But they say books can lie to you 2.Besides, they convinced me "ride this flying horse" "It's the best we've got but we'll sell it, of course" I know what your saying; the horse is a goat with the price I paid, how could I say no Besides they convinced me it really has wings I'm going to fly to the moon, eat purple bananas, and sing Purple bananas on the moon 3. Just A Noise This is just a noise KAZOO sound ~~~~~~~~ Yep ! for the next 30 minutes just noise Now actaully if this was really an emergency, well you'ld be tuff luck Because your not listening to the radio,your listening to my tape. 4. My Cat Was Taking A Bath 1. I was riding home late one night When there in my house I saw a light And when I got inside Right before my very eyes Chorus: My cat was taking a bath My cat was taking a bath It was a quarter to 3 And I don't believe My cat was taking a bath 2.Well maybe I had something to drink Or maybe I just couldn't quite think But my ma saw it too And she said of course it's true 5.Just a Pest This is just a pest Kazoo~~ I'm annoying you Kazoo~~ I'm annoying you Just a pest There is no reason for it It's not a test It's not even a need or it's just annoyance Guitar strumming Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha 6.The Worst Restaurant Come to our restaurant Come to our restaurant Bring your family too Come to our restaurant Come to our restaurant We’ll serve you Porky Pine Stew It’s the finest Dandelion Pie Soup of the day is Skunk Mushroom The Parking spots they’re all occupied No Bathrooms No Bathrooms The Music is all noise: Aughhhhh ! But you should see the menus They’re all written in different foreign languages So you can’t argue You can’t argue with the cook 7. W.H.A.T. W.H.A.T. WHAT ? WHAT radio station ? Yeah WHAT ? What radio station is this ? I don't know ? I think it's WHAT ! Live at The Hog 8.Pink Pants Inspired by the peppermint twist and was meant to be a 50s rock type song when these 2 little kids said to me on State street "Don't you have any rap songs ? " and since I wasn't quite sure about the music for this I started rapping it and tapping on my guitar and from that moment on it has been a rap song ever since. 1.Well you can sing and you can dance You might be real good when it comes to romance You maybe able to tell a diamond from a glance You ain't done nothing 'til you wear pink pants Chorus: Pink Pants Pink Pants Said all you Uncles And all you Aunts All you Critters And all you Cats You ain't done nothing 'til you wear pink pants 2.It's the latest fad, the latest scene It causes the woman to scream! Scream! Scream! You may think I'm just a little bit obscene But you ain't done nothing 'til you wear pink pants 3.Get you Uncle some Get your Grandma some Your late great Uncle Nate All your relatives Friends too 9. WEIRD Radio Station W.E.I.R.D. WEIRD radio station ! Are we WEIRD ? Are you WEIRD ? Everybody get WEIRD ! 10. Maybe You Think I’m Weird Maybe you think I'm Weird But you haven't seen yourself in the mirror Maybe you think I'm strange But you haven't seen what you look like these days Chorus: If the shoe fits Wear it If the shoe fits Wear it If you think it's true And it might be to If the shoe fits Wear it Just 'cause I don't dress like you Don't mean I'm not cool Just 'cause I don't dress like you Well maybe you're the fool 11. Klone Radio Station This is KLONE radio station Yeah we're like everyone else We're a klone Do you have your favorite radio station ? We sound like them We're not different We're not unique We're KLONE 12. Dead Skunk Perfume 1.When I first met you I thought you were wise I thought your Ideas were real intelligent How was I to know That you were really crazy And that Dead Skunk Perfume you would invent Chorus:Well it stinks and it's lousy And it smells like dead onions Or even something worse:Dead people in the tomb Don't open the bottle If you should find it Don't go out and buy Dead Skunk Perfume 2.Well I used to go out with A real pretty lady She loved me and she smelled just like a rose But somehow you convinced me That you were better So now when we go out I hold up my nose/(go back to chorus)/ Bridge:Dead Skunk Perfume will kill your neighbors/Dead Skunk Perfume will kill you as well/And if you die with that smell on you/God'll kick you out of heaven and you'll go to(Well I hope not)/(back to chorus)/ 1. Intro & Oh Suzanna 13.KRUD Radio Station This is KRUD radio station It's KRUD ! You don't like music you like crud Listen to our station we have crud 14. Waltz With Me Wanda Wanda's Boyfriend: Waltz with me Wanda I want to waltz Waltz with me Wanda Wanda right now Wanda: I can not waltz I've got to go I gotta do some chores I gotta milk the cow Wanda's Boyfriend: Waltz with me Wanda I want to waltz Waltz with me Wanda How about this week Wanda: I can not waltz I have to go to church They want me on the podium They asked me to speak Wanda's Boyfriend: Waltz with me Wanda I want to waltz Waltz with me Wanda How about this month Wanda: I can not waltz I've got my gun ready I'm going to the forest I'm going to hunt Wanda's Boyfriend: Waltz with me Wanda I want to waltz Waltz with me Wanda How about this year The News Announcer: DDDDD ! this is the 6 o'clock news and I'm Walter Mudface Today in the news Wanda was shot ! They thought she was a deer Wanda's Boyfriend: Waltz with me Wanda Up there in Heaven Waltz with me Wanda Like you did when you were seven Waltz with me Wanda? I want to waltz? Waltz with me Wanda? Or Rock N Roll ! 15. Swatting A Fly I’ve got to get that fly I’ve got to get that fly I hate these flies Their getting me I’ve got to get it Owe ! I hit myself I’ve got to get that fly Owe ! I hit myself again I got him 16. Infinity This is a song about a song about song about another song About a song about a song about another song I’ve got watch that has a watch that has a watch that has another watch That has a watch that has a watch that has another watch And when I’m ask the time of day I still cannot say Cause even with a microscope I still don’t know I see a watch, I see a watch, I see a watch, I see another watch I see a watch, I see a watch, I see another watch You see the name of the song is call infinity Though you see you don’t really see all that you see It's called Infinity It’s a song about a song about a song about another song About a song about a song about another song You see the name of the song is infinity Though you hear you don’t really hear all that you can hear It's called Infinity 17. Commercial This is the commercial About the commercial About the commercial There is going to be a commercial but we don't know what that's about This is the commercial About the commercial About the commercial They said there wasn't enough commercials And since they already had commercials about commercials This is the commercial About the commercial About the commercial 18. 5 This is the speech about the speech about the speech about the speech, which is about the speech actually maybe I should just sing a song. 1,2,3,4,5 A,B,C,D,5 5,5,5,5,5 Maybe I’ve been watching too much sesame street 5 Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco 5,5,5,5,5 My girlfriend told me to meet her at a certain time, when ? I think it was 5 19. Drink Milk Rap Drink milk rap Tell jokes laugh Clap, clap, clap Drink milk rap Drink milk rap That’s where it’s at For healthy bats Drink milk rap Living in Wisconsin Eating cheese is fun Drink milk rap Drink milk rap This is the dairy state Drink milk from a plate Drink milk rap Drink milk rap Drink milk rap They’ve got a new hat It’s a cow cow cap Drink milk rap 20. The Cow T-shirt Jingle Moo Moo Mania Moo Moo Mania Got a Cow Cow shirt Cow Cow shirt Moo Moo Mania Moo Moo Mania Cows are udderly cool cool cool cool cool Moo Moo Mania Moo Moo Mania Got a Cow Cow shirt Cow Cow shirt Moo Moo Mania Moo Moo Mania Cows are udderly cool Madison Wisconsin You want to be hip You got to get a Cow T-shirt & Do a cow flip Commercials tell you That Milk is good for you You like the taste of milk Get a cow T-shirt too Moo Moo Mania Moo Moo Mania Got a Cow Cow shirt Cow Cow shirt Moo Moo Mania Moo Moo Mania Cows are udderly cool cool cool cool moo Oh Suzanna 21. Scratch in The Record Scratch Scratch Scratch Scratch Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record A brand new record Brand new rec Brand new rec Brand new rec Scratch Scratch Scratch Scratch Don’t you like it Don’t you like it Don’t you like it Don’t you like it Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record A brand new record Brand new record Brand new record Brand new record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch 22. I Want To Be Madonna ? 1.I want to be Madonna ? I want to be a Rock star I want to be Madonna ? I want to keep changing the color of my hair I want to be in all the tabloids I want to be gossip about everywhere And when I come in the room I want everyone to stair Chorus: I want to be Madonna ? I want to be Madonna ? I want to be Madonna How about you ? I want to be Madonna ? I want to be Madonna ? I want to be Madonna Wouldn't that be cool ? 2.I want to be Madonna ? Look at how much money she makes I want to be Madonna ? Look at those hot video takes And if I was Madonna ? Maybe I could be a little stuck up If they offered me a movie contract I could say the money is not enough 23. The One Chord Song This song only has one chord That's why your bored This song only has one chord That's why your bored One chord Your bored Your bored One chord 24. I Just Made it Up I just made it up I just made it up Here’s a real good song I just made it up Might be a number one hit I just made it up I just made it up Yeah I don’t know what it’s about I just made it up Maybe it will be played on the Movies Darling Honey Sweetheart Dear I just made it up Yeah you to can write a song just like the people on the radio Yeah you don’t have to have skill or talent Just write down whatever you say that comes out of your mouth Make sure you don’t swear or you’ll be censored by the FCC And make sure you don’t steal any lines from other peoples songs or those people will decide to sue you And one more things I should state Make sure you copyright your song Or you know what will happen Someone else will steal it and make a lot of money I just made it up Don’t know why or who for I just made it up Don’t know why I did But I just did it I just made it up I just made it up I just made it up I just made it up And you know later on when I’m rich and famous and I’m making lots of money you know And I’m riding in my gold plated Cadilac civil Ford limozine And I got a black leather jacket with diamonds and studded rubies And women with diamonds and pearls and jade are begging at my feet And I’m getting lots of millions of letters everywhere and even packages with money and gifts And David Letterman wants me on his TV show and I’m playing at the White House And Madonna has decided to name her child after me and all sorts of other great things are happening Then you call me up and you’ll get my answering machine and it will say this I just made it up Now leave your name and number after the beep I just made it up And tell me where you put the key so I can break in later I just made it up I just made it up I just made it up I just made it up I just made it up I just made it up Just made it up Just made it up Just made it up … 25. The Shortest Song I Ever Wrote This is the shortest song I ever wrote The shortest song I ever wrote The shortest song I ever wrote The shortest song I ever wrote 26. This Ones Even Shorter This ones even shorter This ones even shorter Even short 27. One Note One Note 28. Are You Gullible ? You might be gullible If you think everything that Jeff Foxworthy says is funny You might be gullible If you bought every CD the Beatles came out with You might be gullible If you think there are only two soda and both are cola You might be gullible You might be gullible You might be gullible You might be gullible Or are you gullible ? Or are you gullible ? You might be gullible If you bought the cereal just cause you want the prize You might be gullible If you think those cookies are really made by elves You might be gullible If you think the guy in your neighborhood who looks like Elvis and acts like Elvis but sing real bad is really Elvis You might be gullible You might be gullible You might be gullible You might be gullible Or are you gullible ? Or are you gullible ? You might be gullible If you think everyone that works behind a desk is really working You might be gullible If you bought everything on the Home Shopper Network You might be gullible If you believe all the politicians are honest You might be gullible You might be gullible You might be gullible You might be gullible Or are you gullible ? Or are you gullible ? Hey I’ve got a real good deal here Here’s a knife that’s plastic that cuts real good Or how about this Condominium on ocean front property in Arizona Or how about the Eiffel tower I’ve got a real good price you can buy it from me Or are you gullible ? Or are you gullible ? You might be gullible You might be gullible And if your gullible And if your gullible You lose all your money after while 29. Top 10 Reasons Top 10 reasons why I want to be on the David Letterman show: Number 10 I’ll get paid money. Number 9 I can flirt with some of the Beautiful woman and get their phone numbers Call them up and let them take me out for dinner and let them pay for everything. Number 8 I can freak everyone out by playing my one chord song. Number 7 To start a clique of kazoo fanatics. Number 6 I’ll be able to stay at an expensive hotel, watch cable TV, stay up late, and lose lots of sleep. Number 5 Some big time record producer will discover me, and hire me to record a CD or tape which will sell so well I won’t have to do anything but eat food and get fat like Elvis. Number 4 So that companies will hire me to do commercials, so that I can support things I don’t believe in Number 3 I’ll be able to make a total fool out of myself in front of millions of TV viewers all across America , Europe and all over the world by tripping over my guitar and breaking it before I even play one note and then going over and greeting David Letterman as Conan O’Brian. Number 2 After I become famous from my appearance on the David Letterman show, I run for a political office and misuse government funds And the Number 1 reason why I want to be on the David Letterman show is so I’ll be invited to be on Life Styles of The Rich and Famous and show everyone how I’m foolishly spending the money I made on stupid things that are over priced 30. I’m Blue I’m Blue I’m Blue I bought some paint To paint my house It was Blue paint I spilled all over me I’m Blue I’m Blue 31.It’s Another Star Trek Sequel It’s another Star Trek sequel They’ve got a man with 3 heads It’s another Star Trek sequel They’re going to the planet of the living dead It’s another Star Trek sequel Leonard Nimoy gonna be a guest It’s another Star Trek sequel It’s called Star Trek the sequel that will never rest It’s another Star Trek sequel They’re going to beam me up to play my guitar It’s another Star Trek sequel They’ve got lazer lights in the bar It’s another Star Trek sequel Paid for by things no one want to buy It’s another Star Trek sequel Star Trek the show that will never die It’s another Star Trek sequel To boldly go where no one wants to It’s another Star Trek sequel And I’ve got the too many Star Trek sequel blues 32. Corn Joke Q : Do you know what an ear of corn is ? A : No not that ear of corn. But an ear of corn is when you take some corn and you put it in your ear and what ever amounts fits in your ear is an ear of corn. 33. I Ate The Poppin Fresh Doughboy I ate The Poppin Fresh Doughboy He tasted so good Some people say that’s cannibalism But I if you we’re hungry you would I ate The Poppin Fresh Doughboy There was no food in my cupboard He just pop out of the TV and started talking to me So I cooked him up and from my neighbor I borrowed butter I ate The Poppin Fresh Doughboy And now I’ve got to go to court They say it’s a crime to kill a celebrity The weapon was a knife and a fork I ate The Poppin Fresh I ate The Poppin Fresh I ate The Poppin Fresh Doughboy I ate The Poppin Fresh I ate The Poppin Fresh I ate The Poppin Fresh Doughboy 34. Cat/Horse Joke Q:What do you get when you mix a cat and a horse ? A:Well you know what it eat the funniest things and when it talks it makes this sound: meheheow 35. I Don’t Want To Find Waldo 1.I don't want to find Waldo I don't care if he is lost That game is too expensive Look how much it costs 2.Waldo's at the beach I don't understand ? He never goes swimming And he doesn't try to get a tan 3.He's always wearing the same clothes Ain't that kind of strange ? What does he got duplicates ? Or does he never change ? 4.I don't want to find Waldo The whole things just a laugh He should have brought along a compass He should have brought along a map 36. A News Bulletin We interrupt your local broadcasting to bring you this news announcement: Elvis has just been elected The President of the United States, so now you must listen to 24 hours of Elvis music. Yep, this is Elvis and I’m your President and I want you to listen to my music all the time. Yes and eat lots of Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwiches 37. I Like My Mother There's candy Icecream Chocalate Good dreams And I like my Mother ! Mothers are sweet Mothers are nice They help you Give you good advice And they make you cookies ! I like my Mother ! I like my Mother ! I like my Mother ! I Like my Mother ! I really Like My Mother ! Theres Uncles Cousins Sisters Brothers Fathers And I like my Mother ! And I pray God You'll let my Mother live a thousand years So I don't have to get a job or do anything And I can just live with my mother ! I like my Mother ! I like my Mother ! I like my Mother ! I like my Mother ! I really Like My Mother ! 38. The 1st Church of Beatlemania Join the 1st Church of Beatlemania. Yes, this is the Reverend Paul McCartney Smith telling you all you need is love so send us your money because money can’t buy you love and love is all you need. Our 40 member choir knows over 100 Beatle songs and are dressed in Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club’s Band uniforms. Whether your Lady Madonna or Mr. Nowhereman you’ll really feel at home in our air conditioned apple shape auditorium which is only 3 blocks from EMI studios on Abbey road or was that Crabby ? Well anyways, we have the immortal words of Ringo Starr, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, & George Harrison in a large bold black print on gold paper on leather bond book which can be yours for a single donation of a $100 dollars. Also included with the $100 dollars is a 5 year membership in our church and your own Beatle wig. This book which we have titled the Beatle Bible includes interviews with not only the immortal Beatles but also their dreams, their ideas, their idols, their idol’ idols, their idol’ idol’ idol’ idols, their friends and family. If your one of the first 500 to join this month will also send you the Beatle Hymn Book. Yes you can be a Beatle ! Join the first church of Beatlemania and love-love our church. 39. Scary Techno song # 5006 Do you ever feel Do you ever feel Do you ever feel Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie And all of a sudden it starts to get dark And all these eyes are staring at you And dogs Do you ever feel Do you ever feel Not with your hands Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie And all of a sudden it starts to get dark And all these eyes are staring at you And all these eyes are staring at you And all these eyes are staring at you Do you ever Do your ever feel Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie And the music is really eerie And it starts to get dark and all these eyes are staring at you Are staring at you And dogs start to bark Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Do you ever feel Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie Do you ever feel Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie And it starts to get dark And all these eyes are staring at you And dogs start to bark And they get louder And they get louder And they get louder Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie And it starts to get dark Do you ever feel Do you ever feel Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie And it starts to get dark And all these dogs start to bark And the eyes Eyes are staring at you everywhere And you think some guys going to jump out of the bushes And take all your money and kill you Do you ever feel Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie And it starts to get dark And the music is really eerie And all these eyes are staring at you And dogs are barking And some guys going to jump out of the bushes And you wake up And you wake up And some guys knocking on your door And you answer the door and it's the IRS and you owe them 2000 dollars 40. Choke Soda Choke soda ! Try some it really taste good ! One sip (sipping sound) augh I can't talk I'm choking ! 41. They Won’t Play This on The Country Western Radio They won't play this on the Country Western radio It's not what they call Country I don't wear no cowboy hat And I didn't send them any money I didn't send them any money I come from the north And I don't drink beer And besides all these other things They probable think that I'm queer Probable think that I'm queer Just cause I wear pink Ain't that make you think Everybody's judging everyone And sometimes it's in the name of God's Son Sometimes it's in the name of God's Son Maybe it's because of the kazoo ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well even if they don't play this on the Country Western station It's not gonna bother me That's not how I want to succeed I don't want to succeed by conformity I don't want to succeed by conformity I wear the clothes I want to wear And I cut my hair the way I want to cut my hair Well if they don't play this on the Country Western radio You know where they can go You know where they can go 42. Kermit The Frog Aftershave Kermit the Frog After Shave. Have you been having problems trying to get piggies to go out with you on a date.. You know female pigs will not go for just anything And Kermit the Frog ought to know He’s had a lot of experience dating Miss Piggy And so if your having problems dating female pigs try Kermit the Frog After Shave And if you try it now will also send you Kermit The Frog bow tie to go with it Yes you too can be like Kermit the Frog 43. Girlfriend with a Car I want a girlfriend with a car I want a girlfriend with a car I want a girlfriend with a car She can drive me, we’ll go really far I don’t care if she’s pretty But gosh I hope she’s pretty But even if she’s not pretty She just got to drive me from city to city You know if she’s got money If she’s got money I try to tell jokes and be real funny If she’s got money I want a girlfriend with a car I want a girlfriend with a car I want a girlfriend with a car She can drive me, we’ll go really far You know if she’s got money If she’s got money I try to tell jokes and be real funny If she’s got money And when we’re married and have kids When we’re married and have kids When we’re married and have kids We’ll bring them up in the Taxi biz I want a girlfriend with a car I need a girlfriend with a car I love a girlfriend with a car She can drive me, we’ll go really far 44. Thanksgiving Stuffing Thanksgiving stuffing brought to you by thanksgiving stuffing The easy way is to buy a box of oven top stuffing which can be bought in any store. It cost a whole lot more than the ingredients. Then read the e directions and get confused. You could take all the leftovers out of your refrigerator and mixed them altogether and decide you don't like what you got and throw them out. Remember mold taste real good in stuffing And then there's Grandma recipe. It's real complicated but you try it anyhow. So you got all the ingredients together and you start to make it when halfway it either walks off, or you get puzzled and you called Grandma and find out she never could make it neither Or you go to an expensive restaurant where you like the food and find out they don't have any stuffing on the menu today because they ran out of it By the way this was brought to you by thanksgiving stuffing 45. The Santa Claus Twist You go Ho ! Ho ! Ho ! And you go,go,go Doing the Santa Claus Twist You get a red suit And you get your gal(guy) one to Doing the Santa Claus Twist You roll,roll,roll like you've got a big belly Dust off your clothes like you've just come from the chimney Take a chance Do this dance Doing the Santa Claus Twist You get a little red hat With a little white ball Doing the Santa Claus Twist All of a sudden The reindeer you call Doing the Santa Claus Twist Dasher and Dancer,Prancer and Vixen Comet and Cuped,Downer and Blisten Take a Chance Do this dance Doing the Santa Claus Twist 46.The Christmas Book Club Join the Christmas Book Club ! Our latest best sellers are: Martyred Trees Are Dying Saint Nicholas is the Pope The Red on Santa’s Clothes Means He’s a Communist From The USSR And Reindeer Can’t Fly We still sell last years best sellers which were An Old Man Running Around in His Red Long Johns is a Disgrace to Society Stay Off The Sauce Rudolph And Yes Virginia Your Dad is Lying These are our other Christmas Books we sell for half price: C. A. Christmas Carol Anonymous: Tips to Help You Over Come Being Addicted to Watching Christmas Carols or Other Christmas Specials like It’s A Wonderful Part 2 Here’s another Book: Gosh Santa Your Clothes Are Really Out Of Style Here’s the last one Santa is Working for The CIA Send Check or Money order to: Fly By Night Books 1414 Rip You Off street Suckerville,Wisconsin Or just send your credit card number and will send you all the books 47. Venison Christmas It was Late one December night When My Dad saw a real bright red light So he thought it just might Be a reindeer in flight So he pull out his gun And he bagged him one We’re gonna have a venison Christmas this year Rudolph on the grill We’re gonna have a venison Christmas this year You can come on over too Well some people like to eat turkey And some people like to eat ham Some people like beef jerky And some people like eat spam I don’t know what your serving But we’re having venison 48. Santa is Elvis You know I have a theory on this Santa Claus stuff Elvis is Santa And you know a they say Santa is everywhere and they say Elvis is everywhere And you a they’re both fat You know and the one day of the year you never hear of Elvis performing was on Christmas and you know Santa well that’s the one day he works all year. And a well you know there’s a couple other theories here you know Elvis makes a lot of money performing and well Santa got have a lot money to give all those gifts away Well and the last one is that no one really know where they’re at And so maybe Elvis is Santa or maybe Santa works for the CIA 49. The Latest Elvis Imitator He's the lastest Elvis imitator Singing Elvis songs from a boat from the equator Drinking champagne and acting real cool But he's not real,he's just a fool Trying to be someone else Just so he can get all that wealth And now that he got his record contract He's gonna bring Elvis back To the world and to the stage See him on the front page Of every fan magazine you ever seen Isn't he a real dream Wait til he comes to your town Flirts with all the women all around Sings 50 million Elvis songs Makes you all sing along After 10 years or maybe so One day a mustache he does grow (Female Fan):Hey your Elvis don't you know Elvis didn't have a mustache, No! (Elvis Imitator):Well I'm Elvis and I'm the King And I can do anything (Female Fan):Well if your Elvis why aren't you dead ? (Elvis Imitator):I've been really well fed 50. At The Elvis Concert Announcer : Ladies and Gentleman Elvis has just ate the building Elvis : Thank you, very much Thank you, very much Burp Thank you, berry much Thank you, blueberry much Thank you, raspberry much Thank you, cranberry much Thank you, strawberry much Thank you, berry much 51. I Want A Date With The Menard’s Lady I want a date with the Menard’s Lady I want someone that can fix things to be my baby Someone that’s good with the tools That can show me how to do a thing or two I want a date with the Menard’s Lady I want a date with the Menard’s Lady You know the way she wears those over alls she really looks sexy I like the way she calls out the prices She’s better then those girls they call the spices I want a date with the Menard’s lady Madonna move over baby Cause she’s really hot and she’s tough And I really like the stuff that she’s made out of I want a date with the Menard’s Lady 52. The Cheap Rent District So with these weird sound effects It’s hard to talk over them Ah this one Ever live where there’s Where there’s Where there’s low airplane sounding above you and your trying to talk to your friend And it takes It’s hard to get a word across In the cheap rent district 53.Have A Peanut Butter Sandwich Have a peanut butter sandwich Have a peanut butter sandwich Are you depressed ? Have a peanut butter sandwich Are you bored ? Have a peanut butter sandwich Have some milk Have some Kool-ade Have a peanut butter sandwich Have a peanut butter sandwich Do you like White bread ? Do you like Wheat bread ? Do you like Rye bread Have a peanut butter sandwich Have some cake Have some ice cream Have a peanut butter sandwich Why are you worried About your weight ? Have a peanut butter sandwich Have a peanut butter sandwich Elvis like his With Bananas Have a peanut butter sandwich Have another peanut butter sandwich Have another peanut butter sandwich You can always join weight watchers Have a peanut butter sandwich Have a peanut butter sandwich Everybody sing with me Have a peanut butter sandwich I can't hear you Have a peanut butter sandwich Wear it on your head Have a peanut butter sandwich Stick it in your nose Have a peanut butter sandwich Have your mom Over for dinner Have peanut butter sandwiches Have peanut butter sandwiches Invite all your friends over To watch the game Have a peanut butter sandwich Have a peanut butter sandwich Everybody now Have a peanut butter sandwich I can't hear you Have a peanut butter sandwich Have a peanut butter sandwich.. 54. The End This end our day of broadcast No more shows You can turn the TV off now Why aren't you turning the TV off ? Did I just say this end are day of broadcast ? Okay I'm not funny I'm not being funny Turn The TV Off !