John R. Butler, plucked from his cradle by twisted fate, was raised in the woods by a pack of wild Pomeranians. This experience helped him bridge the gap between human and canine language, culminating in the release of "’Yapyapyapyapyap’ Means I Love You" (Potbelly Press, 1991). I’d love to go on and on about the earlier years of this cultural icon, but he reminds me that my task is to tell you about "Vampars". "Vampars" is a journey from drunkenness to sobriety, from the hollers of West Virginia to the sun-dappled streets of Miami, from the depths of heartbreak to the heady peaks of undeserved praise. You know, THAT kind of stuff. Security Moms beware: certain songs on this CD convey language or themes that may be inappropriate for young children. Worst of all, one of the little bastards might decide, after listening to the music of "Vampars," that you’re not as right about things as you claim to be. Don’t risk it. For the rest of you, the choice is obvious: get your hands on "Vampars" or find yourself behind the curve. I can’t put it any more plainly than that. And don’t forget to check out the special on pork butt at Norb’s Hi-Mart. Renata La Plata, "Village Shopper & Coupon Guide"