From their inception, dark-horse iconoclasts (but don’t call them party-poopers) King Luan have been on a fervent mission to unravel and dispel populist myths, while unabashedly promulgating plenty of their own. (But no need for concern―they have promised to leave Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy untouched!) They have disabused us of vampires in Romania, and now they have made their way to Scandinavia. In “There Are No Gnomes in Sweden”, KL joins ranks with the global warming and Area 51 conspiracists by suggesting that, ahem, there are no gnomes in Sweden. If this disappointing exposé were delivered on a thrashy metal soundtrack it might be soundly rejected as heresy (or perhaps hearsay?); as it were, however, the King has issued his decree on a silky smooth pillow of synth pads and adult contemporary rhythm tracks. A spoonful of honey makes this medicine go down…real easy. Still, the revelation is so startling that one wonders how it finally had to come from these lads Down Under rather than any of the myriad local Swedish bands that were, presumably, closer to the truth. We might forgive the candy pop of Abba, Roxette and Ace of Base for shrewdly dancing around such controversy; other bands like Dark Tranquility, Dismember, or even Miike Snow obviously just copped out. Not so King Luan. As vocalist/revolutionary, Hugh Wilson, sings, “No little hats or curly beards or rotten teeth; and not one child has ever been reported being eaten”. This may not be the end of the world as we know it, but it gets us all a little closer to the precipice. But wait a minute! For those stout of heart enough to stay with the track to its conclusion, the lyrics seem to flip-flop with enigmatic hints that our height/teeth-challenged Arctic Circle brethren may exist after all: “Leave us alone now, for we are the people laying low; the not-so-tasty Danish, if the truth be told…” One could be forgiven for feeling a little duped by Wilson and his band of merry myth-busters; there are no gnomes, there may be gnomes…we’re all gnomes? ​But, as with most things King Luan, the ruse is light-hearted enough, and the musical ride satisfying enough, that any lyrical sleight-of-hand is easily absolved. So, are there really no gnomes in Sweden? Well, of course the answer is…?