Findlay Napier and the Bar Room Mountaineers Review Notes “File Under Fiction” Label: Watercolour Music. Released May 2011. All songs written by Nick Turner and Findlay Napier. Track 1: File Under Fiction. The librarian’s love song. Closing the impossible gap between men of fiction and the disappointment of the real thing. Track 2: Don’t Look In My Eyes The story of Findlay’s uncle, a Highland vet, performing a steady stream of the unkindest of cuts - here disguised as the end of a love affair. Track 3: Cutting Her in Two A magician’s unrequited love starts getting in the way of his work. Track 4: One For The Ditch A bet that we couldn’t write a song for George Jones resulted in this whisky drenched paean of unanswered love... a bit like a George Jones song. Track 5: Valentine’s Day Released as a single in February 2011, this is the cumulative story of every disaster likely to befall the smitten. Track 6: Spread Thin Given enough time, even the shallowest of middle class socialites can sometimes fall to their senses. Track 7: Heels Over Head Sexual compatibility for those of us on either end of the Love Train. Track 8: Cut Me Off The tables turn on a C-List stalker. Track 9: Waiting In The Wings The happy dividend earned by our Mums and the thousands like them who gave up on a career to bring up a family. Track 10: Raise A Glass The unrealistic expectations of working life are one of the reasons we have a binge-drinking culture. Track 11: One For Me The actress Sharon Stone complained that men taking her out were often disappointed in the difference between herself and the characters she portrayed. The famous, it would seem, have just as hard a time as us mere mortals in finding the ‘right one’.