What can I,Art Paul Schlosser say about me ? I am who I am so the songs speak more than I can explain. listen to my songs and see what you think and if you like it buy it. Here are some of the lyrics: 1.A Poet I Am A poet I am but more For my imagination shows the door People can see many things When they float in their mind with wings Imagine yourself Poor or with wealth Near or far A mountain or a star I am a clown A painter A mayor of a town Or a deer Imagine yourself walking in space Now this can be any kind of place For you are the director As well as the actor 2. Colors By Voice Hi, I’m Art Paul and this here tape or CD or whatever we’re doing here I thought I would do something interesting now. I going to do something called Color’s by voice. Here we go. No just imagine if you can’t see what color looks like what it would be if I describe it as voices. I think yellow-yellow would sound like this And orange-orange would be kind of like this And red-red would be like this It would be kind like this you know And brown-brown would be like this Or black, black, black Purple, purple, purple And then gray would be more like this And then blue-blue would be more like this Well anyways just imagine 3. Our Roof Leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks I didn’t mean to take a shower, I guess I had no choice Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks The cat is learning how to swim Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Last night we had a terrible rainstorm today it’s in the house Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks We’re sailing on the kitchen table through the river in the living room Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks I didn’t mean to take a bath, I guess I had no choice Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks Our roof leaks 4. Just For You I wrote this one kind of slow I know what your saying you’ve got to go But many who will not listen Will miss out on my foolish wisdom But maybe you’re better off anyway I couldn’t think of very much to say I was just sitting around with doing nothing When I thought I write a song to sing It’s not about Politics or Crime But I thought I’d like to make it rhyme So now what your saying is what is it about I haven’t quit figured that out But if you think this is weird That I write songs kind of queer It’s not because I do drugs Or that I take beer And I’m not related to your friend Doug And I don’t wear gigantic mirrors It’s just because I had nothing else to do But to write a song just for you Now stand up high and still eat a meal Jump up and do a cart wheel Said if you like what you hear Give a loud clap and a loud cheer Said if you like what you hear Give a loud clap and loud cheer Said if you like what you hear Give a loud clap Okay don’t clap The Best of Art Paul Schlosser(The Sequel) 5. Interesting # II There are no lyrics to this song. 6. A Bit of Logic Today and only today Get this saw and will also send you these 3 other items you don’t want Lacking the ability to be wise Yes my name is not wise I’m Sam Foolish and I have been standing in rain without a raincoat or umbrella Meanwhile back at the ranch 3 headed cat claw eating monster was trying to chew Buffy’s nails Uh And so I say if we turn the left knob a little to the right But then again some people are allergic to pepper 60 years ago some lady walked into a church near Belleville So never eat poison ivy in a Cadillac Rolls Royces car This and all other spaceships Was brought to you by CIA spying foundation Where spying is more than just a way of life Sincerely your friend Pippy 7. I don’t Really Know 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 5 6 7 8 5 6 7 8 5 6 7 8 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 4 3 2 1 4 3 2 1 4 3 2 1 Some people ask me Why I ever wrote this song In the very first place What is the real reason I don’t really think I know I don’t really think I know I don’t really think I know I don’t really think I know Maybe I was Just having fun Just fooling around Just having a good time I don’t really think I know I don’t really think I know I don’t really think I know I don’t really think I know 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 4 3 2 1 4 3 2 1 4 3 2 1 That was the take off of Apolla 99 9 8. European Girls Is this a dream Am I for real Something strange is happening Is this a seal European Girls European Girls There's cow bells on the ceiling There's cowbells on the ceiling Have I told you yet ? There's cow bells on the ceiling European Girls European Girls Have you tried this new gum It taste real yucky All your friends chewing it Don't you want to conform ? European Girls European Girls There's cow bells on the ceiling There's cowbells on the ceiling Get those cow bells off I don't want them on my ceiling European Girls European Girls What's the meaning to the chorus Have I got foriegn girl firends No there's no meaning to it at all I just made up out of my head European Girls European Girls 9. Kiss Me Darling (I’ve Got Aids) Kiss me darling I’ve got aids I never intended to die this way Just one of things that happens in life You make a decision it don’t turn right I don’t what was going through my head If I had it all to do again maybe I would still do it again She was so pretty that’s for sure And how could I say no to her Kiss me darling or at least hold my hand Help me to cope, understand I made a mistake but I still need love Forgive darling and pray to God For others to count the cost of their life And not throw it a way for a thrill over night 10. Your Love and Friendship Don’t think it’s your beauty When it’s Your Love and Friendship Don’t capture me with your beauty Without offering Your Love and Friendship I want Your Love and Friendship I need Your Love and Friendship If your beautiful I’m not quite sure But that isn’t even why I came here I came here for Your Love and Friendship 11. We Don’t Have To Have Sex We don't have to have sex Just to be friends We don't have to have sex Come on listen We don't have to have sex To have a good conversation We don't have to have sex We don't have to have sex We don't have to have sex But we can have fun Don't treat me like I'm a sex symbol Don't treat me like I'm dirt Don't treat me like I'm a sex symbol Don't treat me like I'm a sex symbol Don't treat me like I'm dirt Don't treat me like I'm a sex symbol Don't treat me like I'm a sex symbol Don't treat me like I'm a sex symbol I've got worth We don't have to have sex Just to be friends We don't have to have sex Come on listen We don't have to have sex To have a good conversation We don't have to have sex We don't have to have sex We don't have to have sex But we can have fun Just cause I'm good looking Don't mean I'm not smar Just cause I'm good looking A huh A huh 12. At The 400 Bar Okay this is dedicated to s certain people in Minneapolis. I might mention Walt Mink and some other people especially this one person that I met there at the 400 Bar. I won’t mention her name I think she knows who she is and ah this is just some song I wrote afterwords and stuff. We dance at the 400 bar and I bought you a coke a cola Light were like sparkling stars and everyone wanted to know you Hope you didn’t forget me cause I could never forget you Hope you can only say that I could never forget you There was music in the air and magic in the moment If I told you that I care could you say you know it Hope you didn’t forget me cause I could never forget you Hope you can only say that I could never forget you You sent me this funny looking card with cats all over it With love and a kiss you did sign it Hope you didn’t forget me cause I could never forget you Hope you can only say that I could never forget you 13. Detox You do to much drinking Then your life starts stinking Maybe you should start thinking What ! You want to end up in detox the rest of your life ? What ! You don’t want to end up in detox the rest of your life ? Do you want to end up in detox the rest of your life ? You say it’s cool but you fail to see That once your in jail it ain’t that easy And when your parents have to bail you out they say: What ! You want to end up in detox the rest of your life ? What ! You don’t want to end up in detox the rest of your life ? Do you want to end up in detox the rest of your life ? You say all your friends are doing it And it’s crummy your willing to admit But you know your just trying to fit in you know get stuck What ! You want to end up in detox the rest of your life ? What ! You don’t want to end up in detox the rest of your life ? Do you want to end up in detox the rest of your life ? 14. You Gotta Be Cracked You got to be cracked if you want to try crack Cause once you try it-it'll be hard to come back addiction will get you and that's a fact You got to be cracked if you want to try crack Crack will get you like a poison snake that bites And once it bites you-you'll have to fight Cause if it can it will take your life Crack will cut you like a very sharp knife You got to be cracked if you want to try crack Cause once you try it-it'll be hard to come back addiction will get you and that's a fact You got to be cracked if you want to try crack You know there was once a famous high school basketball star It look like he was determined,he might go far But one day he thought he'd try some crack He's dead and that's that You got to be cracked if you want to try crack 15. Confessions of a Pinball Adict Confessions of a pinball game addict: Pinball was a joy and a pleasure when I first started playing it I would play one or two games on a Friday or Saturday One time I didn’t play Then I played 5 games to get the highest score But mostly it was just the thing to do once in a while Just for fun Then later About a year or two My favorite nerf ball team lost the championship What a drag I was a real bum out So being game gamer in sports and stuff Oh Being bum out I went to cadilac gamer sports Then there was the time my girlfriend left me And after a while I found myself playing pinball almost everyday I even invited my friends and relatives But the way By the way By the way I gotta go and play again Do you have a quarter I need one now I’m going insane Let’s all get down at the Non-Alcoholic Dance floor All your friends are there and they greet you when they come into the door They got beautiful lights and wonderful music And once you now that we’re not drinking we don’t have to worry about getting sick And let’s all get down at the Non-Alcoholic Dance floor Said let’s all get down at the Non-Alcoholic Dance floor Who says in order to have fun you have to drink some liquor They’ve got nice food and soda pop too And over in the corner there’s a girl that wants to dance with you Let’s all get down at the Non-Alcoholic Dance floor 16. Non-Alcoholic Dance Floor This is really the song High Low and the song Non-Alcoholic Dance Floor is part of Confessions of a Pinball adist which is the tract before this one. This is the highest note on my guitar This is the lowest note on my guitar This is the highest note on my guitar This is the lowest note on my guitar High-Low High-Low High-low 17. Time Goes So Fast Time goes so fast Time goes so fast It was midnight But now it's dawn Time goes on past It does not last Before you know it Time is gone You were so young When life begun But now it seems You are old And the song you sung The song you sung Is no more A story told Time goes so fast Time goes so fast It was midnight But now it's dawn Time goes on past It does not last Before you know it Time is gone Could it be that Could it be that Life in time Does change And the cat And the rat Are dead now Does this seem strange Time goes so fast Time goes so fast It was midnight But now it's dawn Time goes on past It does not last Before you know it Time is 18.I Am Me Why should I want to be you? Why should I want to be you? I am me Can’t you see If I was you Than you would be two Who would be me? Who would be me? Unless you would be But if I was you And you were me Than we could not do The things that be And if we are to be true To the vision we see Here is one clue Here is one clue This mystery That you must be you And I must be me I must be me Why should I want to be you? Why should I want to be you? I am me I am me I am me 19. Ban the Klan Ban the klan Ban the klan Put down racism Ban the klan Make a stand Make a stand Put down racism Make a stand Ban the klan Ban the klan Put down racism Ban the klan We don't need no hypocrites We don't need no hypocrites We don't need no hypocrites Ban the klan Ban the klan Put down racism Ban the klan Make a stand Make a stand Put down racism Make a stand Ban the klan Ban the klan Put down racism Ban the klan We don't need no hypocrites We don't need no hypocrites 20. Deception Deception Deception Deception Deception There are alot things In this here nation They look so good But there just temptation You make a friend You think you can trust him He tells you lies And looks so handsome She kiss you on the lib But she stab you with her hand She look like a sheep But she’s a wolf in sheep’s skin You go to vote At the next election You think you made a good choice But it’s a wicked crooked politician 21. Our Flag Our Flag Why tear it When you can wear it Why burn it When you can cover furniture with it Remember recycling is important 22. Trash Blues Trash a trash a trash a trash a trash a trash blues Trash a trash a trash a trash it’s not what I choose Trash a trash a trash a trash a trash a trash blues Over here Over there Before you know it-it gets right in your ear Trash a trash a trash a trash a trash a trash blues Trash a trash a trash a trash it’s really bad news Trash a trash a trash a trash a trash a trash blues In that place In this place Before you know it-it gets right in your face 23. 13 Reasons 1.Because it's on a Friday 2.Because it's not on a Monday 3.To have a 3 day weekend 4.There's not enough national holidays 5.Look at all the great people that were born on Friday the thirteenth (Not that I can think of anybody,can you think of anybody ?) 6.So people can go to Ho Chunk and bet all their money away 7.It's better than a poke in the eye 8.To commemorate our thirteenth president Mildred Filmore, don't you remember what he did for our country ? 9.To give people another day to put their flags up 10.Actually did you know the number 13 is patriotic ? There are 13 stripes on the flag representing the first 13 states 11.With all the other laws and legislator nowadays why not ? 12.So that hotels that have the number 13 will do better business and hotels without the number 13 will be laugh at And the 13th and finale reason is: Because I couldn't think of anything thing else to write but Baker's Dozen 24. I Don’t Like To Argue I don’t like to argue I don’t like to quarrel I don’t like to argue About silly useless morals I don’t like to argue I don’t like to quarrel I don't want to yell at you Don't want you to yell at me So let's just forget about it And come back tomorrow Some people like her because she's got red hair Some people like him because he's got green hair Some people like her because she's got no hair Well it doesn't really matter If love is what your after Who cares about the hair we need to love and share I don’t like to argue I don’t like to quarrel I don’t like to argue About silly useless morals I don’t like to argue I don’t like to quarrel Don't want to yell at you Don't want you to yell at me So let's just forget about it And come back tomorrow Well I used to be a know it all I used think I knew everything I used to be a know it all I'd cuss holler and scream I used to be a know it all I used think I knew everything Now I realize I wasn't very wise I used to be a know it all,now I just sit here and sing Some people tell me this song is much too long Other people say my voice is really wrong Some people tell me this song is much too long Well even if it's not okay I'll sing it anyway And if you want to,you like to, you can sing along I don’t like to argue I don’t like to quarrel I don’t like to argue About silly useless morals I don’t like to argue I don’t like to quarrel Don't want to yell at you Don't want you to yell at me So let's just forget about it And come back tomorrow 25. Now That the War is over Now that the war is over Or is it ? And what about that H Bomb in your closet Have you seen El Salvador ? And if you haven’t Then why are the Irish Catholics killing Protestents ? You say your not prejudice yet But how do you know ? What would you say if a Chineese, Korean, women, black, Hindue, Muslem, American Indian ran for Mayor ? Governor ? President ? or Congressman ? Anarcy or Communism won’t take away violence and stress You say your cool But do you love too I don’t care what you believe If your destroying others and that helps you succeed Then all that matters is power and greed And from war you’ll never be free Now go and kill peacefully And see the World die 26. Hand Guns Illegal Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal All my friends have got one I know Every time I get paid they say hand over the dough Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal My neighbor bought one late last week He was cleaning it up to make it look neat All of a sudden a bullet dislodged and hit my window Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal All my friends have got one I know Every time I get paid they say hand over the dough Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal I like to go see a movie But I don't want to go if their going to be shooting I paid good money for this picture show Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal All my friends have got one I know Every time I get paid they say hand over the dough Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal What else is legislature for to do They just sit around collecting taxes from me and you What would it take before, maybe they get robbed by their niece or nephew Then maybe they make handguns illegal Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal All my friends have got one I know Every time I get paid they say hand over the dough Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal 27. We Took a Pole We took a poll I'm not sure if it was a telephone pole or not And we found 90 % percent of the people we didn't ask believed polls are incorrect And of the 90 % percent you know that we didn't ask 50 % percent believed scientist were interviewing sparrows 20 % percent of the 90 % percent that we didn't ask Believed our Grandma oh Our Grandmas made up the poll Or maybe Elvis And the remaining 10 % percent were vacationing in Antarctica for spring break Or was that Florida The moral of the story is: Never look for a penny in the corner of a round room 28. Is He For Real Just cause he says he's friendly Lyle And acts so nice to your child No mean it's safe to walk on the tile No mean there's enough gas to make the next mile Cause even the best have lie once in awhile Just cause he has a friendly smile His hair is combed his nails filed Don't mean there's no deceit or guile Is he for real or just acting When he gets on the stage to sing I never know, I really don't Sometimes I'm afraid to vote He could be a viper in disguise He could Satan as an Angel of light Just cause he has such pretty eyes Don't mean his teeth won't bite So when you go to elect The next President Remember to expect Words are often bent Is he for real or just acting When he gets on the stage to sing I never know, I really don't Sometimes I'm afraid to vote Promises are compromised All the more to eat you my dear Lies are truth and Truth are lies And nothing really is that clear So vote for me and I do this I'll be the very thing you wish I'll bow to you-your feet I'll kiss But once I'm in office my words I'll twist Is he for real or just acting When he gets on the stage to sings I never know, I really don't Sometimes I'm afraid to vote 29.Health News Doctors discover high salt, high sugar, & high cholesterol is good for you. Eat lots of junk food but stay away from vitamins. These nasty bandits (Vitamins) can destroy your brain if your not careful. Be careful when eating vegetables and fruit they might lower your high blood pressure to normal. Going without breath can lengthen your life providing you don’t suffocate. But don’t exercise you might lose that excess flab that makes you so attractive. If you must exercise keep in mind that the best exercise is over exerting so that your heart will explode. Never worry about what’s in your glass as long as it taste good Cigarettes before were said to cause cancer now have been discovered to be the cure to the common cold. The more you cough the healthier you are. Staying up will keep you awake and then you will be alert. Drink lots of coffee or jolt or even better:{Too much of a bad thing is good for you}. Poison Ivy when eaten will help you itch. But stay away from that diet food it taste funny and they removed the chemicals. If you lack energy eats lots of candy and sit around watching Tevo,TV. Never worry about calories and as long as the food taste good. Your Doctor Ralph Phony. 30. Life is Grand Fred a workingman sudden relaxes Because he’s got to pay his taxes Although he like to go on vacation He regrets he can’t afford inflation Life is Grand Life is Grand The local grocery super market Is hunting for him for a target They’d like to put on his back the cross Of all their expenses and all their costs Life is Grand Life is Grand While crucifying the farmer dies He can’t afford to buy supplies They pay him less but prices rise And no one stops to wonder why Life is Grand Life is Grand Now lets rejoice about nuclear waste The house by the plant is a lovely place I like the scenery by the lake By why did that poison have to leak Life is Grand Life is Grand God made a lovely world here But man had to go and make it prettier With chemicals and scientific spells It might be safer to live in hell Life is Grand Life is Grand And on the subject of Christmas time Say what is the meaning of the rhyme Buying of coarse the commercial’s say And bother are kids day after day Life is Grand Life is Grand With toys they want and toys they need Toys they’ve got to have if they ever will succeed While selling us toys that break Toys with mistakes our wallets they rape Life is Grand Life is Grand Now you may say that this is bad For me to sing about things so sad I must admit it could be worse Any moment a nuclear bomb could burst Life is Grand Life is Grand With everyone getting aids and cancer Death ain’t coming slower it’s just coming faster With everyone getting aids and cancer Death ain’t coming slower it’s just coming faster Life is Grand Life is Grand 31. Let’s Pick Up The Pieces Again Let’s pick up the pieces again Let’s try once more to be friends Let’s pick up the pieces again This is now, that was then Let's think positive for tomorrow Let's put away all the sad sorrow Let's think positive for tomorrow Things may go, good you know Let’s pick up the pieces again I hate to hear the word end Let’s pick up the pieces again This is now, that was then Let’s pick up the pieces again Let’s try once more to be friends Let’s pick up the pieces again You know even wounds they can mend 32. Darling Darlene I call you darling Darlene I call you charming Darlene Your really darling Darlene Your really charming Darlene I love you truly Deary I love you dearly Deary If you truly love me Than I’ll dearly love thee I call you darling Darlene I call you charming Darlene Your really darling Darlene Your really charming Darlene 33. Because of Jesus I don’t love you because you love me I love you because of Jesus I don’t love you because you make me happy I love you because of Jesus I don’t love you because your nice to see I love you because of Jesus I don’t love you because your so pretty Your pretty because of Jesus Because of Jesus Because of Jesus I don’t love you because you got lots of money I love you because of Jesus I don’t love you because your real funny I love you because of Jesus Whether your here or far across the sea I love you because of Jesus Whether the sky or cloudy or it's really sunny I love you because of Jesus Because of Jesus Because of Jesus I don’t love you (you know) because you love me I love you because of Jesus You know you maybe in prison or very much free But I love you because of Jesus You maybe blind or able to see But I love you because of Jesus You know no matter what your nationality I love you because of Jesus Because of Jesus Because of Jesus 34. I’m a Clutz When I saw you dear I knew you be true I knew I could love you Then I spilled a malt shake on your shoe shoe shoe I’m sorry dear But I’m a real clutz I tell you that I love you Then I drive you car into a bus a bus a bus Ask my boss He’ll tell you just the same The other day when I went to work I broke the window pane pane pane Could it be the day I was born Hey could it be my parents Could it be the fact I eat to many carrots carrots carrots Kazoo~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well let’s go out tonight We’ll dance and dance and dance We’ll rock around the clock Oops I spilled my soda on your pants pants pants I’m sorry dear But I’m a real clutz I tell you that I love you Then I drive you car into a bus bus bus bus 35. If I Must Die I hate to do this to you, to do a funny song and then stick you with a very serious poem but I'll do this poem any how. If I must die Let me die for a worthy cause Let me not commit suicide Let me stand tall and strong Let me fight brave and long Let me not give up No matter how rough The road may be I must remember and see That God has a plan for me And if I must die And we all know we must die Let me die with dignity For that is the best destiny Not a scolar Not a pauper Or a Queen Could ever be free Without dignity So if I must die Let me die with the dignity That I did something To make the world see And then I will die Most peacefully 36. This Brain I’ve Got 1.This brain I've got Won't last forever No matter how Smart or cleaver And though I kiss you darling That's just for today Who know's what Tomorrow may say These mortal bodies That we are in Are only temporarely They rust like tin And though we think our life will last One day it fades just like the grass 2.We are so blind To the truth We cling to things Like they've got root Before our own Very eyes Things pass away Friends say goodbye And though we hope And though we dream We can't keep forever The grass green So say farewell and hug me once more Before we fade from this shore 37. About Things Now because I have runned out of things to say I'll say alot of things And in speaking of things I thought I'd speak about things What kind of things will I talk about ? That's a thing of a question And when you question things do they answer ? What kind of answers to things give you ? Talking about giving things I gave this thing to my girlfriend and she hasn't spoken to me since Do you think she had a problem with something ? It's a thing of the past Talking about passing things I passed this thing on the way to work It was a coming And I was a going I don't know what it was but I wasn't prepared for just anything You know not everything that is affordable is always practical So don't just settle for anything When you can get something good