The time is finally upon us! I have narrowed the songs we've been working on for the past two years down to fourteen tracks. Reluctantly, we have chosen the anticlimactic "self-titled" route for the full album, chosen mostly out of necessity to limit confusion of the actual name of the band ("Did a man named John Wesley Harding write an album called Bob Dylan or the other way around?"). The band name is lifted without permission from the Silver Jews song of the same name, which is a truly amazing song. Here are brief descriptions of the 14 less amazing songs, included on our very first LP, "Trains Across the Sea." "How Not to Write a Song": Quite literally, why Trains Across the Sea is not going to be a household name (and why that's not the goal). "Driving": Truckers as American Zen Masters, Public Transportation, Pie, Beef Jerky, Public Urination, Ostriches... "Such Uncomfortable Chairs": When I young (5 or 6) and playing with Megan (sister), I'd lie upside down on the stairs (to my mother's chagrin, of course) and wonder what it would be like if the ceiling was the floor. It's a less heartwarming story when you learn how much w**d Megan and I were into at the time. "The Sea": Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba Tuba! (and dolphins) "Thank You Hippie Generation": My most controversial song. A protest song against protesting. To ignore it is to prove its point. (how about THAT for a spineless trick to get you to listen...) "I Got a Loop Pedal for Christmas!": I also got socks, but those are much more difficult to run through a distortion pedal. "Running Water": Written (literally) during a giant training meeting at one of those "real" jobs while I was calmly freaking out in my khakis. "Happy Tribes of Injuns": Christopher Columbus and a Native American walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues. Also, Americans work too much. "Empty Nests": Or, How to Make Your Mother Cry. "Tortoise": If you're gunning for the charts, a retainer reference is gold. I dare you not to dance. "The Prime of Your Life": True story. Is hope the best or worst thing to offer to a child? Discuss. "Pumpkin": Included in honor of Eric Bretschneider, the finest man to serve donuts in their deep-fried history. Best enjoyed with an old-fashioned donut and a cup of coffee. At 3am. "For Now Let's Count All the Beauty We See": Title humbly stolen from Elder Jeff Mangum. Youtube videos offering lessons on how to dip your Mary without spilling either of your drinks to come soon! "Am I the Only One Going to the Waterpark?": Another true story. I have essentially no recollection of recording this (it was my birthday).